for @keenely.

[bestfeature]

[ an open post.

or: when you want to thread but bakerstreet is hard. ]

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[bestfeature]

[ oh. wait, no, only he's allowed to feel bad about his friends getting hurt, this is rude. ]

Hey, Nance.

It's okay. It worked out, right? And we got Robin out of it and she's, like, awesome. We learned and came up with better plans this time around.

Better-ish.

[keenely]

You are so not allowed to "hey, Nance" me on this one.
Because yes, Robin's great. Which is exactly why I hate that she went through that, too.

[ joke's on you, harrington, because this is nancy wheeler in a nutshell except it should be "... happened to me *or my friends* ..." ]

Sometimes it feels like we've all
Wait no
I'll just speak for myself.

I think I might've gotten too good at convincing myself that because I survived all of this so far, there's no reason to talk about it, or even think about it after. Because we can't change what happened, or how it happened. We can't unsee the shit we've seen. So it always seemed pointless to talk about it.
But I think that's exactly how he got in my head.

[ do you remember what you did, nancy? or have you forgotten?

no. not for one second. but she did get very good at shoving the memory so far down that sometimes it was very easy to outrun all the guilt she felt, yeah. ]

So... We don't need to talk about it, but maybe let me feel this one, for a little while?