for @keenely.

[bestfeature]

[ an open post.

or: when you want to thread but bakerstreet is hard. ]

Comments

[bestfeature]

Yeah.

I mean last time, we were all split up six ways to Sunday.

It was nice to be on the same page at least.

[keenely]

[ being on the "same page" cuts a little close to the chest, considering the mess with the mindflayer was right around the time it started to feel like she and jonathan weren't on the same page anymore, but it's not like he could've known that. but it's, y'know. it's not wrong. this time around felt different. in a good way. ]

I'd be okay with never splitting up again, to be honest. I mean, I know Starcourt is basically ancient history at this point, but I still think about it sometimes because
There was a small stretch of time when Dustin really loved retelling the story of how you guys discovered the elevator that lead you to an underground base full of Russian spies under the mall, and every single time I would end up thinking about your eye, and your lip, and I would just end up feeling sick because it was
literally impossible not to put two and two together.
And I so could have used some backup against the Flayer at the hospital that night.

I know everything happens for a reason, but sometimes it's really hard not to wish some things were different back then.

[bestfeature]

[ oh. wait, no, only he's allowed to feel bad about his friends getting hurt, this is rude. ]

Hey, Nance.

It's okay. It worked out, right? And we got Robin out of it and she's, like, awesome. We learned and came up with better plans this time around.

Better-ish.

[keenely]

You are so not allowed to "hey, Nance" me on this one.
Because yes, Robin's great. Which is exactly why I hate that she went through that, too.

[ joke's on you, harrington, because this is nancy wheeler in a nutshell except it should be "... happened to me *or my friends* ..." ]

Sometimes it feels like we've all
Wait no
I'll just speak for myself.

I think I might've gotten too good at convincing myself that because I survived all of this so far, there's no reason to talk about it, or even think about it after. Because we can't change what happened, or how it happened. We can't unsee the shit we've seen. So it always seemed pointless to talk about it.
But I think that's exactly how he got in my head.

[ do you remember what you did, nancy? or have you forgotten?

no. not for one second. but she did get very good at shoving the memory so far down that sometimes it was very easy to outrun all the guilt she felt, yeah. ]

So... We don't need to talk about it, but maybe let me feel this one, for a little while?