open rp post.

[bestfeature]

[ open rp post! also for continuations from elsewhere / overflow / whatever. drop a prompt here or make me drop a prompt or whatever. please rp with me okay. ]

Comments

[keenely]

[ there's a you're not she almost voices, but then he adds more and- they can come back to that, okay, she will be coming back to that ]

I thought so, too. I really did. I didn't actually- plan on saying whatever it was I said that night. That things were bullshit. I wanted to let it go for a night. But- then I got really drunk. Too drunk. And stupid. [ a beat ] You're not fake. I don't blame you for wanting to pretend things were okay back then, it just- I couldn't do it. And I should have just told you that. [ she huffs ] I guess I was pretending, too.

[bestfeature]

Yeah.

[ He agrees almost too readily. ]

I know. Pretending things were fine. [ Quietly, he taps at the side of the water bottle as his gaze drifts back towards the window, at the blurs that pass by outside. ] Pretending you still loved me.

[ It's not a fair thing to say. Even when he's the most shitfaced he's been in years — excluding the Russians, of course — he knows that it's an incredibly unfair statement. But it's true and apparently, he's speaking the truth tonight, so. Whatever. ]

[keenely]

Steve, I-

[ there's, y'know. there's stuff she's kept to herself. stuff she doesn't really know how to voice. it's this weird feeling of regret, and sadness, and definitely confusion. a hundred other things. and it's not fair of her to take advantage of the fact that he's this drunk to put out this kind of honesty, but it's better than keeping it locked up, right? she can be selfish. everyone in this car knows that. plus, maybe if she gets it all out now, it'll be too much information too fast and he won't even follow. but at least she'll have said it. yeah. selfish. ]

I really was in love with you. I know you're not going to believe that, but it's the truth. But- I also wasn't happy, not really, at the time. I needed something different to help me figure out why I was still so sad, and I didn't know if we could be that, and I was so scared to tell you because I didn't want to hurt you, or hurt us. And I really didn't want you to think I was just another person who wanted you to be something you weren't. [ a beat ] So, I tried to do things your way. And I guess- I guess I resented you for it. It was easier than admitting how much I was hurting.

[bestfeature]

[ He doesn't respond for the longest time, staring out the window all while she speaks, as though he's maybe absorbing every word in stony silence. Occasionally, there's the slightest reaction from him — a hitch in his breath here, a flinch there &mdsah; but otherwise, he's still.

Once she finishes, he stays quiet, his fingers curling slightly against his knee.

And then, he murmurs: ] — bullshit.

[ He tips his head forward, resting it against the passenger's side window. ]

[keenely]

[ it makes her laugh, at least. a sudden bubble of sound to break the tension, before she locks it up again, brow furrowing up ]

Yeah. [ it was, what, almost a year ago now? halloween is only a few months away. has she really been holding onto all of that for that long? ] I guess it is.

[ and this is nancy, slowing the car on a really dark road because she maybe... lost track of where she was going. just a tiny bit. she knows this road, she knows that house right over there, but where... damnit.

no, it's cool, she's got this. they're definitely not just shy of lost.

... she can always turn and go back the way she came. no big deal. ]

[bestfeature]

[ He eyes the scenery quietly, not turning to look back at her. He can't, really, because even in his haze, it still hurts too much. Damn. Drinking never did him any favors, clearly.

But even then, it's obvious to him what's going on. ]

Don't tell me you're lost . . .

[keenely]

What? No.

[ it's one of those very suspicious wh-hut? no!s that she will never admit to having. she is, however, making a k-turn to go back the way she came, hah. ]

I just made one wrong turn, don't worry about it.

[bestfeature]

You're ssssssso lost.

[ He's not even looking back over at her, that's how unimpressed he is. ]

[keenely]

Shut up. Drink more water.

[ her laugh is a little embarrassed this time, and she's even reaching over to tap her fingers on the water bottle, like maybe he forgot he was holding onto it ]

-- So how did you get covered in cinnamon, anyway?

[bestfeature]

[ He shakes the water bottle before taking another swig. ]

What happens at a party stays at the party, Nance. That's the law.

[keenely]

You know that's not true.

[ reputations are born at parties. everybody knows that. ]

C'mon, tell me. Please?

[bestfeature]

Not happening.

[ In part because how do you even explain it beyond "we were drunk"? But he also knows the power that a mystery has. And it's much better to leave her wondering than to just shrug his shoulders. ]

[keenely]

Fine.

[ oh yes, super mysterious. much intrigue. wow. she glances his way for a moment, ends up smiling again ]

You still have some on your face.

[bestfeature]

[ He rolls his eyes.

. . . and then reaches up to swipe at his face with the back of his hand, brushing it away. ]

[keenely]

You missed it.

[ no he didn't ]

[bestfeature]

[ . . . after a moment, he swipes again. ]

[keenely]

[ she peeks, way too fast to notice anything, especially because she's busy trying to read street signs ]

Nnnope, nope, still there. You really did get it everywhere, Steve.

[bestfeature]

[ Nope, too drunk to deal with this. He huffs, lowering his hand and leaning against the window again. ]

Can't help but notice that we're still lost.

[keenely]

We are not, we're going back the way we came because of that one wrong turn I told you about before. Lost implies that I have no idea where we are.

[ she rolls her shoulders, squinting at the next street sign that goes by and deciding it's not one worth turning onto ]

I have some idea.

[bestfeature]

Lost. We're lost.

[ He rolls his head back over to stare at her dubiously. ]

[keenely]

I really don't appreciate your lack of faith in me right now.

[ maybe this is why nancy wheeler never drives herself anywhere ]

Hah! There, see? Pinewood Drive.

[ she has no recollection of pineview drive, but she's turning down it like she might ]

[bestfeature]

Uh-huh. Okay.

[ There isn't an ounce of belief in his voice. ]

[keenely]

What do you mean "uh-huh"? We just passed the sign.

[ god, drunk steve is almost worse than mike. almost.

there's a pause, a little longer than a short pause, but not too long. y'know. a pause. ]

It wasn't bullshit, by the way. What I said. I really meant it.

[bestfeature]

[ god. for his own sanity, it has to be — at least, in this moment, where he's incapable of fronting in any meaningful way. ]

Uh-huh.

[ It's said with a shrug as he stares out the window, the same dubious "uh-huh" that he'd said only moments ago. ]

[keenely]

[ huff ]

You're being very annoying.