steve harrington (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bestfeature) wrote2019-07-07 05:35 pm
bestfeature) wrote2019-07-07 05:35 pm
open rp post.
[ open rp post! also for continuations from elsewhere / overflow / whatever. drop a prompt here or make me drop a prompt or whatever. please rp with me okay. ]
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[ The word is slurred, almost drawn out, but there's no real punch to it. He's bullshit, they were bullshit, and it was all bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. It was funny, really, how one word could have so much meaning and yet, none at all at the same time. And, of all things, it had to be a stupid word like that one.
A bit of a smirk plays at his face, like he's amused that he's the one saying it this time. ]
Some things never change. [ At that, he takes a swig of the water.] And maybe— maybe I like parties.
[ He doesn't. They always leave him feeling empty inside. This one was no different. ]
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[ the worst part, of many worst parts, of all of that? is that nancy still can't remember a damn thing from that night.
she remembers loud music, and being proud of their costumes that nobody really got, and laughing at steve over her solo cup while he bopped around to bad pop music with her, because he knew that it would make her laugh. she remembers having a few moments of sadness over the fact that they were at this party, and she could hear barb in her head telling her that this wasn't her, this isn't really her scene. she remembers trying so hard to do what she thought was best for steve, and maybe for herself too, like maybe if they could just get a little drunk and pretend to be normal for a night, maybe they wouldn't feel so sad? she remembers thinking eventually, maybe, she'd get up the nerve to just tell him she wasn't happy with the way they were handling everything, but after the party, in private, somewhere quiet and not here.
she remembers that damn jungle juice. ]
I never thought you were bullshit. I thought- the way we were playing pretend was bullshit. You were trying so hard to pretend things were okay. That we both were. That was bullshit. [ she doesn't sound all that heated or anything, she knows this isn't the time for an actual, real discussion on this. but- honestly, she doesn't think steve would ever give her the chance to hash this out. so. maybe it is the time. sort of. in a small way. ] I was so tired of pretending. Weren't you?
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[ Until recently, anyway, but old habits died hard. Not that he was in any state to really consider thinking about that any deeper than that, though. ]
I thought that . . . for one more night, we could escape or— or something.
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I thought so, too. I really did. I didn't actually- plan on saying whatever it was I said that night. That things were bullshit. I wanted to let it go for a night. But- then I got really drunk. Too drunk. And stupid. [ a beat ] You're not fake. I don't blame you for wanting to pretend things were okay back then, it just- I couldn't do it. And I should have just told you that. [ she huffs ] I guess I was pretending, too.
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[ He agrees almost too readily. ]
I know. Pretending things were fine. [ Quietly, he taps at the side of the water bottle as his gaze drifts back towards the window, at the blurs that pass by outside. ] Pretending you still loved me.
[ It's not a fair thing to say. Even when he's the most shitfaced he's been in years — excluding the Russians, of course — he knows that it's an incredibly unfair statement. But it's true and apparently, he's speaking the truth tonight, so. Whatever. ]
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[ there's, y'know. there's stuff she's kept to herself. stuff she doesn't really know how to voice. it's this weird feeling of regret, and sadness, and definitely confusion. a hundred other things. and it's not fair of her to take advantage of the fact that he's this drunk to put out this kind of honesty, but it's better than keeping it locked up, right? she can be selfish. everyone in this car knows that. plus, maybe if she gets it all out now, it'll be too much information too fast and he won't even follow. but at least she'll have said it. yeah. selfish. ]
I really was in love with you. I know you're not going to believe that, but it's the truth. But- I also wasn't happy, not really, at the time. I needed something different to help me figure out why I was still so sad, and I didn't know if we could be that, and I was so scared to tell you because I didn't want to hurt you, or hurt us. And I really didn't want you to think I was just another person who wanted you to be something you weren't. [ a beat ] So, I tried to do things your way. And I guess- I guess I resented you for it. It was easier than admitting how much I was hurting.
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Once she finishes, he stays quiet, his fingers curling slightly against his knee.
And then, he murmurs: ] — bullshit.
[ He tips his head forward, resting it against the passenger's side window. ]
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Yeah. [ it was, what, almost a year ago now? halloween is only a few months away. has she really been holding onto all of that for that long? ] I guess it is.
[ and this is nancy, slowing the car on a really dark road because she maybe... lost track of where she was going. just a tiny bit. she knows this road, she knows that house right over there, but where... damnit.
no, it's cool, she's got this. they're definitely not just shy of lost.
... she can always turn and go back the way she came. no big deal. ]
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But even then, it's obvious to him what's going on. ]
Don't tell me you're lost . . .
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[ it's one of those very suspicious wh-hut? no!s that she will never admit to having. she is, however, making a k-turn to go back the way she came, hah. ]
I just made one wrong turn, don't worry about it.
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[ He's not even looking back over at her, that's how unimpressed he is. ]
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[ her laugh is a little embarrassed this time, and she's even reaching over to tap her fingers on the water bottle, like maybe he forgot he was holding onto it ]
-- So how did you get covered in cinnamon, anyway?
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What happens at a party stays at the party, Nance. That's the law.
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[ reputations are born at parties. everybody knows that. ]
C'mon, tell me. Please?
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[ In part because how do you even explain it beyond "we were drunk"? But he also knows the power that a mystery has. And it's much better to leave her wondering than to just shrug his shoulders. ]
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[ oh yes, super mysterious. much intrigue. wow. she glances his way for a moment, ends up smiling again ]
You still have some on your face.
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. . . and then reaches up to swipe at his face with the back of his hand, brushing it away. ]
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[ no he didn't ]
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Nnnope, nope, still there. You really did get it everywhere, Steve.
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Can't help but notice that we're still lost.
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[ she rolls her shoulders, squinting at the next street sign that goes by and deciding it's not one worth turning onto ]
I have some idea.
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[ He rolls his head back over to stare at her dubiously. ]
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[ maybe this is why nancy wheeler never drives herself anywhere ]
Hah! There, see? Pinewood Drive.
[ she has no recollection of pineview drive, but she's turning down it like she might ]
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[ There isn't an ounce of belief in his voice. ]
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