bestfeature | open rp post.

[ steve's bad at hiding things when he's completely sober, so right now all of that uncomfortable energy is coming off of him in waves. and she wants to try and make it better, maybe, say the right thing to try and make this less... whatever it is, but maybe trying ot make it better would make it worse.

she doesn't actually get any enjoyment out of seeing steve look like someone told him he needs to retake a math test.

once they're both in the car ( after a moment of nancy considering trying to help him with the car door before he finally manages it on his own, oh my god ), nancy gets the key in the ignition, but ends up looking at him for a second before actually starting the car ]

You're not allowed to sit up front with me if you're just going to be pouty the whole time. I'll make you sit in the back like I do with Mike when he's being a brat. Don't think I won't.

I could— sit in the back . . . ?

[ It takes a moment for this novel concept to process with him.

and then, he reaches for the door. ]

No, oh my god, Steve.

[ she reaches for his arm, nothing too grabby, but an obvious stay gesture ]

I was just saying- I'd appreciate it if you stopped looking at me like I, personally made you go to this shitty party. [ a beat ] Maybe it wasn't shitty, I shouldn't assume that a destroyed living room means it was a shitty party. But still. Maybe it's a good thing you texted me, since Robin's ..unavailable.

You just- You've got that pout on your face that I can't handle.

[ He stops moving when she places a hand on his arm, glancing over at her quietly. His brows furrow as she speaks, because— god, processing anything right now is hard as hell. Pouting? Is he pouting? He wasn't happy about her coming to pick him up, so. Probably. Shit.

Steve sighs, slumping in the seat as he closes his eyes. ]

Nah. It was a shitty party. [ a beat. ] Anyway, it's— come on, it's my face.

Yes, your pouting face. But alright, alright.

[ she reaches behind them after a moment, presenting him with a worn hawkins high water bottle. one she used to use for cheer practice. ]

Drink that. All of it.

[ she finally turns the car on once he takes it, headlights making people hanging out on the front lawn flinch and grumble. it even earns her a middle finger from one girl. it's fine - some neighbor is going to get sick of them being loud out there anyway, and then they'll call the cops, and the party will be over. joke's on them, or... whatever. she pulls away slowly, heading back the way she came. she's... 99% sure she knows how to get to steve's house from here, and worst comes to worst, she'll head home until she recognizes the way to steve's no problem. ]

So... I didn't know you were friends with Chloe. Or- Whoever's house that was. [ cool, now it's obvious that's not what she meant. not concerned with whose party it was, but just... that he was there. not that it's her business, she knows that, but ] I didn't know you still liked going to parties.

[ It takes him a moment to really grasp what Nancy's holding out to him but once he does, Steve takes the water bottle and sips at it. To his credit, he isn't spilling water all over the place, at least.

He pauses at her question — comment? — about the party, lips hovering above the rim of the bottle briefly before he distracts himself with another sip. ]

Cindy.

[ It's a murmured correction, because— whatever, right? Who cares whose house it is? Just another shitty Hawkins party with a bunch of shitty people that he had zero intention of seeing again after this weekend had passed.

He lowers the water bottle, head lolling back just a bit as his gaze drifts towards her. ]

S'funny, Nance. There's a lot you don't know about me.

Cindy. [ she bites her lip, because she can see out of the corner of her eye that he's looking at her, but she keeps her eyes on the road. fingers drum on the steering wheel lightly. she could put the music on, but it's her mom's ridiculous station, and she knows if she changes it she'll know she took the car, so- no music. ] Right, I know that. A lot's changed.

[ she huffs a sigh, stopping a little too long at a stop sign because man, all of these rich neighborhoods all look the same, hers included, and it's a little hard to keep track of where she came from? but she knows. yeah. she makes a right because that's the correct direction ]

For a while I used to think I knew more about you than anybody else. The real you, y'know? And... now I don't, I guess.

Yeah, you knew I was bullshit.

[ The word is slurred, almost drawn out, but there's no real punch to it. He's bullshit, they were bullshit, and it was all bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. It was funny, really, how one word could have so much meaning and yet, none at all at the same time. And, of all things, it had to be a stupid word like that one.

A bit of a smirk plays at his face, like he's amused that he's the one saying it this time. ]

Some things never change. [ At that, he takes a swig of the water.] And maybe— maybe I like parties.

[ He doesn't. They always leave him feeling empty inside. This one was no different. ]

That's not true.

[ the worst part, of many worst parts, of all of that? is that nancy still can't remember a damn thing from that night.

she remembers loud music, and being proud of their costumes that nobody really got, and laughing at steve over her solo cup while he bopped around to bad pop music with her, because he knew that it would make her laugh. she remembers having a few moments of sadness over the fact that they were at this party, and she could hear barb in her head telling her that this wasn't her, this isn't really her scene. she remembers trying so hard to do what she thought was best for steve, and maybe for herself too, like maybe if they could just get a little drunk and pretend to be normal for a night, maybe they wouldn't feel so sad? she remembers thinking eventually, maybe, she'd get up the nerve to just tell him she wasn't happy with the way they were handling everything, but after the party, in private, somewhere quiet and not here.

she remembers that damn jungle juice. ]

I never thought you were bullshit. I thought- the way we were playing pretend was bullshit. You were trying so hard to pretend things were okay. That we both were. That was bullshit. [ she doesn't sound all that heated or anything, she knows this isn't the time for an actual, real discussion on this. but- honestly, she doesn't think steve would ever give her the chance to hash this out. so. maybe it is the time. sort of. in a small way. ] I was so tired of pretending. Weren't you?

That's me, that's always me— fake.

[ Until recently, anyway, but old habits died hard. Not that he was in any state to really consider thinking about that any deeper than that, though. ]

I thought that . . . for one more night, we could escape or— or something.

[ there's a you're not she almost voices, but then he adds more and- they can come back to that, okay, she will be coming back to that ]

I thought so, too. I really did. I didn't actually- plan on saying whatever it was I said that night. That things were bullshit. I wanted to let it go for a night. But- then I got really drunk. Too drunk. And stupid. [ a beat ] You're not fake. I don't blame you for wanting to pretend things were okay back then, it just- I couldn't do it. And I should have just told you that. [ she huffs ] I guess I was pretending, too.

Yeah.

[ He agrees almost too readily. ]

I know. Pretending things were fine. [ Quietly, he taps at the side of the water bottle as his gaze drifts back towards the window, at the blurs that pass by outside. ] Pretending you still loved me.

[ It's not a fair thing to say. Even when he's the most shitfaced he's been in years — excluding the Russians, of course — he knows that it's an incredibly unfair statement. But it's true and apparently, he's speaking the truth tonight, so. Whatever. ]

Steve, I-

[ there's, y'know. there's stuff she's kept to herself. stuff she doesn't really know how to voice. it's this weird feeling of regret, and sadness, and definitely confusion. a hundred other things. and it's not fair of her to take advantage of the fact that he's this drunk to put out this kind of honesty, but it's better than keeping it locked up, right? she can be selfish. everyone in this car knows that. plus, maybe if she gets it all out now, it'll be too much information too fast and he won't even follow. but at least she'll have said it. yeah. selfish. ]

I really was in love with you. I know you're not going to believe that, but it's the truth. But- I also wasn't happy, not really, at the time. I needed something different to help me figure out why I was still so sad, and I didn't know if we could be that, and I was so scared to tell you because I didn't want to hurt you, or hurt us. And I really didn't want you to think I was just another person who wanted you to be something you weren't. [ a beat ] So, I tried to do things your way. And I guess- I guess I resented you for it. It was easier than admitting how much I was hurting.

[ He doesn't respond for the longest time, staring out the window all while she speaks, as though he's maybe absorbing every word in stony silence. Occasionally, there's the slightest reaction from him — a hitch in his breath here, a flinch there &mdsah; but otherwise, he's still.

Once she finishes, he stays quiet, his fingers curling slightly against his knee.

And then, he murmurs: ] — bullshit.

[ He tips his head forward, resting it against the passenger's side window. ]

[ it makes her laugh, at least. a sudden bubble of sound to break the tension, before she locks it up again, brow furrowing up ]

Yeah. [ it was, what, almost a year ago now? halloween is only a few months away. has she really been holding onto all of that for that long? ] I guess it is.

[ and this is nancy, slowing the car on a really dark road because she maybe... lost track of where she was going. just a tiny bit. she knows this road, she knows that house right over there, but where... damnit.

no, it's cool, she's got this. they're definitely not just shy of lost.

... she can always turn and go back the way she came. no big deal. ]

[ He eyes the scenery quietly, not turning to look back at her. He can't, really, because even in his haze, it still hurts too much. Damn. Drinking never did him any favors, clearly.

But even then, it's obvious to him what's going on. ]

Don't tell me you're lost . . .

What? No.

[ it's one of those very suspicious wh-hut? no!s that she will never admit to having. she is, however, making a k-turn to go back the way she came, hah. ]

I just made one wrong turn, don't worry about it.

You're ssssssso lost.

[ He's not even looking back over at her, that's how unimpressed he is. ]

Shut up. Drink more water.

[ her laugh is a little embarrassed this time, and she's even reaching over to tap her fingers on the water bottle, like maybe he forgot he was holding onto it ]

-- So how did you get covered in cinnamon, anyway?

[ He shakes the water bottle before taking another swig. ]

What happens at a party stays at the party, Nance. That's the law.

You know that's not true.

[ reputations are born at parties. everybody knows that. ]

C'mon, tell me. Please?

Not happening.

[ In part because how do you even explain it beyond "we were drunk"? But he also knows the power that a mystery has. And it's much better to leave her wondering than to just shrug his shoulders. ]

Fine.

[ oh yes, super mysterious. much intrigue. wow. she glances his way for a moment, ends up smiling again ]

You still have some on your face.

[ He rolls his eyes.

. . . and then reaches up to swipe at his face with the back of his hand, brushing it away. ]

You missed it.

[ no he didn't ]

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